Why I want to date a runner boy

Someone to run with now and then
Perhaps he will be faster than me, but it would be nice to have someone who will take the time to run beside me every so often. We could chat about life, catch up, get to know each other better. Supposedly, the couple that works out together has a better chance of working out in the long run.

Someone to be there when I finish a race
I’ve only had one ex cheer me on at the end of a race, and he was already an ex at that point (don’t ask). I want someone who will run beside me for the final length and remind me to kick it up a notch. When I completed the Boston Marathon the girl next to me had three friends running her in. What did I have? An old boyfriend that showed up fifteen minutes after I finished. I ran the freaking Boston and he didn’t show up on time. Boy am I glad I’m not moving back to Boston for him (again, probably shouldn’t ask…).

Someone to be genuinely interested in my results
To ask questions and listen when I talk about my speed workout or long run. Someone who understands what I mean when I say I ran 8x400s and it was brutal. And I’d be overjoyed to hear about his progress, after all talking about running is one of my favorite pastimes.

Someone who pushes me to be my best
A previous boy didn’t understand my dedication. Why would I want to wake up at 6am on a Saturday for a long run? Why do I have to fit my run in before we go to dinner, can’t I just skip it this once? It wasn’t fair to me that I had to arrange my life to best fit his. I want someone who will respect my routine and motivate me to push through on the days I want to avoid a workout.

Someone to travel with me to races
I’ve picked some races that are a bit out of the way and I need a travel buddy. We can sightsee the day before/after, heck, I’d pick destination races (Hawaii marathon!) if I had a good partner to go with.

Alright, I’ll admit these qualities may exist in a non-runner boy.  For some reason I feel that boys men that run have a deeper understanding of my passion. Either way, I’m not settling for much less in my next partner. As my examples indicate, I’ve had some mediocre relationships in the past and this time I want more (whenever that may be).

What do you look for in a partner? Is your SO supportive of your habits?

About Michelle

I'm an engineer living (and running) in Palo Alto, CA.

Posted on July 14, 2011, in Life, The Future and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 29 Comments.

  1. It makes a world of difference… My girlfriend and I both run marathons and I couldn’t imagine being with someone who didn’t run. We run about once a week together on the weekend and we always enjoy that run very much.

    Find a runner boy!


  2. Awwww – so sweet! My BF+ is not a runner boy – but that’s OK cuz I’m not a runner :) I am “toying” with the idea of wogging a 5K in a sub 45 min time **shhhhhhhh** and I’m pretty sure he would humor me about that. We do our best when we’re active with eachother – pull ups, rides around the neighborhood, walks, yoga, etc. We humor eachother when recapping our workouts – he listens to every single move I do. I listen to every single turn and drop and animal he meets on his mtn bike rides.
    He’s always been healthy – me – not so much. So he’s been really supportive of this little trip I’m on – not because of pounds or a cute ass or anything – but cuz he wants me to be happy and healthy – so sweet.

  3. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh what you want is out there…and soooo agree with the reasons you want :)

    I used to have that…. 20 yrs ago (yea I’m that danged old-43) he wasn’t a runner..but he was in the gym every morning at 5 a.m. with me working out and while we didnt run together he totally grasped the lifestyle and was there for support, pushed me and well I had it, and stupidly let it go :( (NEVER assume that someone is too good for you! just a bit of advice to anyone who wants it) but on an upside, had I not broke it off then I wouldnt have my 15 yr old daughter (to another ex BF) soooooooo things happen for a reason….too bad I haven’t found anyone to replace the one from 20 yrs ago…haven’t seen him in 16 yrs :(

  4. This is too cute :)

    When my BF and I met I wasn’t a runner and he was. He wasn’t a hardcore runner, more like a naturally inclined runner that could run an 8 minute mile after not running for 2 years. He didn’t work out consistently at the time we met, but hey, neither did I!

    Because he ran, picking up running became more important to me. He slowly ran next to me during my first 5K and even ran a few other 5Ks with me in the next few years.

    At the beginning of this year, Matt decided he wanted to get serious about running. He runs 3-4 days a week now and completed 2 half marathons this year already. He’s currently training for the Tough Mudder race in North Cali this fall. We’ve ran a few races together this year, though we don’t ever run together because he’s ridiculously faster than I am.

    It’s been amazing that he’s picked up a steady workout schedule this year! It helps me so much. We lift together sometimes, or bike together as often as we can. Before the heat of the summer began, we would wake up before he went to work and walk the dogs together. We recently installed a punching bag in our home gym and we’ll shadow box with each other sometimes. He’s been awesome about participating in other activities with me since I can’t run right now.

    I totally understand where you are coming from with this list and I hope you find someone who loves running as much as you!

  5. I was dating this guy who absolutely hated running (bad knees). It never got in the way, though I think if running was consuming my early mornings or evenings, it may have gotten in the way. Alas, that didn’t work out and I was fortunate to meet Zach, who used to run cross-country in high school and still runs for fun and fitness today. Unfortunately, this also means that he is hauling my sorry butt out of bed on weekend mornings to run. But it’s really nice starting races together and spending time together while working out!

  6. I think it’s pretty much been my lifelong hope to meet a runner girl I could get along with! So far, it hasn’t worked out for me. I was actually broken up with because I wanted to fit a run in before I took my girlfriend out to dinner on her birthday. Yes, I still made plans to see her that night, but apparently she needed EVERY moment of my time in order to be satisfied (NOTE: In hindsight, she was genuinely crazy)

    And yes, I would totally plan vacations around marathons if I had someone to do it with.

    I hope your search for a runner boy goes well!

  7. When I got married, unfortunately (but not the total end of the world) I wasn’t looking for a partner that was active because I was NOT active. He’s supportive of my habits, but because of his work schedule, blah blah, he’s not there not like I want him to be.

    • Sorry to hear he isn’t there like you’d want him to be. Hopefully the stars will align someday and his schedule will clear up so he can be there for you!

  8. I so agree with these! Sometimes you just need someone there that will listen to you complain about your training and celebrate with you when finish a race, PR, etc.

    Congrats on Boston!! No matter what that is a HUGE accomplishment!

  9. Sounds like you just need a good supportive guy, not a runner! All of the things you are looking for can be found in the right guy, regardless of whether or not he runs.

    That said, it sounds like your man needs to be active to be able to appreciate the things that you do. He may be a swimmer, or rec basketball player.. heck even a golfer! But someone who knows physical challenges will be able to understand and be more interested in your pursuits.

    I know that was the case for my wife and I. Although she isn’t much of a runner, she has been so supportive of all my athletic pursuits, and I hers, because we know how important it is to be a fan of each other.

    • You are definitely right, I need someone who is supportive of my habits (however crazy they may be). An active guy is a must (don’t know how to live a sedentary lifestyle). And if they are a runner, that would be a fantastic bonus!

  10. I could nit agree more with this post! I want to date someone who is genuinely interested in exercising regularly and eating healthy. My last boyfriend was neither and it didn’t work out I didn’t feel like he understood me.

  11. My husband is as supportive as he knows how to be, but there are definitely days when I wish he would run with me. It’s just a nice bonding experience that we miss out on because he’s only run with me the one time. It helps that he was never a partier so going to bed early on Friday nights because of my long runs on Saturday does not affect any plans we might want to make.

  12. I love this post! I mean LOVE! I dated some real losers in the past that totally did NOT understand my passion for running. My husband, however, totally “gets” me. While he would much prefer me to stay in and snuggle on a Saturday morning, he doesn’t argue too much when I slide out of bed for my long runs. He asks how it went and genuinely cares how I feel when I talk about my runs and races. He even “ran me in” at my marathon back in February. His support is appreciated even more these days. When I’m running, rocking my baby bump and all, I get crazy looks and comments from “informed individuals” about how I “shouldn’t be running” and “it can’t be good for the baby”. Blech! But, right by my side, is Super Husband telling them they don’t know what they are talking about and cheering his Baby Mama on. :)

  13. I definitely agree with those who have posted that what is key in a relationship is a supportive partner, not just someone who “likes to run” because you do.

    And it goes for all things, not just running. Don’t we all want someone who is into the the same things as you are? I personally need some that is active – this may or may not include being a running – but since I enjoy the outdoors (hiking, camping, canoeing) I really want someone to share in those things with me. Same goes for my love of travel.

    Maybe it’s not just that we need a “runner boy” but a supportive partner with all around similar interests as us!

  14. this is adorable. i want to date a runner… but not someone who wants to run with me. i feel so unattractive when i run and when i try to talk i huff and puff! but maybe that could change someday :)

    • I don’t know what you’re talking about, I think my Jew-frizzle and ridiculous shvitzing is dead sexy! I’m sure you look a lot better than you think or at least a lot better than most people (especially me).

  15. I’m not a guy, so I can’t be your runner boy, but I would love to do a destination race!!! It would motivate me to train and be more consistent and I’d get to meet one of my favorite bloggers. I’m just saying… :D You’ll meet your runner boy soon enough…in the mean time you’ll just have to make runner friends. Make sure some of them are guys. You know what they say about the best relationships starting out as friends!

    • You are more than welcome to join me at any of my upcoming races! They are all in the San Francisco area, does that count as destination for you?

      • I’ve always wanted to visit San Francisco!!! I want to ride a trolley…I don’t know if running up those hills would be that great but I’d try!!! If you’re every really interested we should talk a little more.

  16. Wow I’m looking for the same thing. I want to find a guy who understands my need to run, to workout, to eat healthy. If he is a runner all the better.

  17. Hi Michelle,

    My girlfriend has been a runner for years – I just recently became addicted about a year and a half ago. We have been together for about a year and have had some of the most amazing times running. She gets what I’m feeling – she gets my need to run. We race together – we have had many destination running/race trips. We only get to run together about once a week but we both look so forward to those times. I will be running my first marathon in October (she has already run one). I can’t wait to see her at the finish line because she understands the commitment and she has experienced the running high. We wanted to share our love for running and started a blog at http://www.werrunners.com. Werrunners and I love that we share that!

    Good luck and keep running!


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